Touch of the Wolf
by LessahIsmorah
Summary: Remus is a werewolf, life has become a constant battle for control as the wolf within tries to answer the summons of darkness. Remus struggles with the wolf and, to his horror, loses.


Thursday morning found Remus in the library. Remus was starting to think that the library was his second home. He combed over the various books on the bottom shelf, occasionally adding one to the small pile on the floor beside him. The books had very little to offer Remus individually, but perhaps collectively they would be of some use.   
  
Remus sighed, wishing the library had more information about werewolves. It was hard being the only werewolf in the school sometimes, no one understood what he was going through. No one had to listen to the sinister voice of the wolf.   
  
_Just let us have one . . . you do not have to kill it._   
  
"No, shut up," Remus hissed under his breath.   
  
The voice stopped as something heavy struck Remus in the head. He cursed under his breath and looked around. There was a book lying on the floor behind him.   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," said a voice.   
  
Remus looked up to see a girl standing next to him, kneeling down. She had long dark hair and dark eyes. She was wearing the colors of Hufflepuff. Remus looked her over as she knelt and picked up the book.   
  
"I thought I could reach," she said, eyeing the red mark on his forehead. "You're going to have a bump."   
  
_Let us play with this one!_ the wolf demanded.   
  
"Maybe you should use a stool next time," Remus snapped.   
  
"I'm really sorry," The girl protested, shying away. "Remus, right?"   
  
Remus nodded. He really wasn't paying much attention to her. There was a battle for control going on in his mind.   
  
_This one! Get her! Take her! She can be ours!_   
  
"Shut up," Remus muttered.   
  
"What?" the girl asked, disturbed.   
  
"Nothing. Leave me alone."   
  
"I was just trying to be nice!" she said, walking away from Remus.   
  
_Do it! Take her! You know you want to!_   
  
Remus stood up, slightly unaware of what he was doing.   
  
"Remus, is everything okay?"   
  
_Take her! Let us taste her!_   
  
"What's your name?" he asked, a slight growl in his voice.   
  
_Pathetic human! It doesn't matter! Take her!_   
  
"Jean," the girl answered.   
  
"That's a nice name," Remus answered, his voice becoming more sinister as he began to lose control of the wolf. "Are you . . . alone today?" he asked cautiously.   
  
Jean nodded.   
  
"Your friends are . . . not around?" the wolf asked. Remus' pupils began to contract as the wolf took over his mind and body.   
  
"Irene is out with Amos," Jean said.   
  
Remus, or rather the wolf, grinned.   
  
"Then we are alone," he growled. He seized Jean by the wrist. "No witnesses."   
  
"Remus!"   
  
Remus, now the wolf, pulled Jean closer to him, his fingernails digging into her wrist. He took in her scent, committing it to memory, reveling in the fear he could smell in her.   
  
_Stop it! Please, don't make me do this!_   
  
_Shut up! Worthless human! I am in command now!_   
  
"Remus, you're hurting me," Jean whimpered.   
  
"You smell good . . . full of life," the wolf said, ignoring Jean's whimpering.   
  
It was the first time the wolf had been out while Remus was still in human form. It was a new experience, touching another human being. He ran Remus' finger down Jean's neck, paying especially close attention to her jugular vein. The hair on the back of Remus' neck began to stand. The wolf wanted her blood enough that he could almost taste it, but there were other things he wanted from her. He started to loosen her tie.   
  
"Remus, I like you... Stop it!" Jean protested. She struggled to break the wolf's iron grip.   
  
The wolf grabbed Jean with Remus' other hand and pushed her hard against the bookshelf.   
  
"When_ I_ am finished," he growled, his eyes wide with anger," _then_ Remus will stop."   
  
The wolf kept one hand on Jeans throat, feeling her pulse quicken as he worked, through Remus, to undo the buttons of her blouse. The wolf was caught up in the experiences of the moment, seeing the unblemished skin of another human being. Through Remus, he was feeling things he was never able to feel as a wolf, locked in a dirty shack with only himself to bite. Remus' human body was much more adept than the body of the wolf. His sense of touch, the wolf noticed, was far more sensitive when he was human. The wolf moved Remus' hand away from Jean's throat, wanting to explore his new found senses.   
  
It was then that the wolf was made painfully aware of the weaknesses of Remus' human body. Jean's knee came up hard between Remus' legs. The pain was incredible, a different pain that what came from biting and scratching himself on the full moon. The wolf relinquished control of Remus' body, leaving Remus to fall to his knees.   
  
"What's _wrong_ with you!" Jean cried, putting fair distance between herself and Remus.   
  
"I... I'm not in control," Remus gasped, getting to his feet and leaning on the bookshelf. "I need to get away from here!"   
  
Remus ran past Jean, heading toward the Headmasters office. He hadn't gone far when she ran past him.   
  
_Kill her!_ the wolf howled, leaving a blinding pain behind Remus' eyes. _Kill her or we will suffer!_   
  
"No!" Remus exclaimed, stumbling. He quickly changed direction. "Leave me alone!"   
  
Remus thrust open the doors of the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey, the witch on hand, looked started to see him. Remus fell to his knees and grabbed the hem of her robes. He looked up at her, his eyes full of terror.   
  
"Help me! I can't control him!"   
  
"Remus, what's the problem? You can't control what?" Madam Pomfrey asked.   
  
"It wants me to kill her! Please, help me!" Remus pleaded.   
  
"Kill who?" she asked, conjuring a pair of heavy shackles and placing them on Remus' wrist.   
  
"A girl," Remus said, moving toward a pair of chains that hung on the wall, there for such an occasion. "It tried to.... to...."   
  
"To kill her?"   
  
"No... it wanted to..." Remus trailed off as Madam Pomfrey chained his shackled to the wall.   
  
"To have sex with her?"   
  
Remus nodded, lifting the heavy chains that restrained him. He sighed heavily.   
  
"I'm a monster. I shouldn't be here."   
  
"You are not a monster Remus," Madam Pomfrey said, reminding Remus of his mother. "You are one of the kindest and gentlest students that has come to Hogwarts in a long time."   
  
"Look at me!" Remus barked, holding up his chains. "I am _chained_ up! I could have _killed_ someone!"   
  
Remus dropped the chains again and leaned against the wall. The was a terrible weight resting on his mind. He bowed his head.   
  
"What will Dumbledore say? Surely he's not going to let me stay here... Will he send me away?"   
  
"You will not be leaving," Professor Dumbledore said as he entered the room. "We will find a solution to this problem."   
  
"You can't let me stay here! I'm a threat!"   
  
Before Remus was aware of what was happening, the wolf seized control again. The hair on Remus'neck stood up again. The wolf lashed out at Dumbledore, struggling against the chains.   
  
"I'll kill you!" he snarled. "I'll kill all of you."   
  
"_Remus_!" Dumbledore bellowed, a shadow falling on his normally kind face.   
  
Remus threw himself back again, taking his mind back from the wolf. He crouched on the floor, his face in his hands. Hot tears were rolling down his cheeks.   
  
"I should be sent away," he sobbed. "I should be sent away before someone gets hurt. I'm a monster..."   
  
"We will find a solution, my boy," Dumbledore said quietly, placing a hand on Remus' shoulder. "We will find a solution." 


End file.
